I’ve been running a community for digital nomad women for 7 years, here are 7 lessons I learned

This month I’m celebrating the seventh birthday of my neighborhood, Digital Nomad Women. I took this second to have fun this milestone, but in addition to mirror on all the things I’ve realized. However first, let’s return a couple of years.

 

Why I began DNG

In August 2015, I had been working on-line for just a few brief months, I used to be residing in Chiang Mai, Thailand and determining this entire digital nomad factor.

Earlier than that, I used to be a scientist, however after receiving my PhD in 2013 I left the world of academia behind to journey the world. After backpacking via South and Central America after which doing a working vacation in Australia for a yr, I made a decision to present this new way of life I heard a couple of go.

I had actually no thought what I used to be doing, I used to be a scientist and never a enterprise proprietor.

However I used to be good at researching and experimenting so I set myself a problem to attempt as many “digital nomad jobs” I might discover and doc my progress on my weblog, SquareHippie. (I’ve since realized that there’s no such factor as a “digital nomad job”, it’s a life-style and never a profession).

I’m a really extroverted and excitable particular person so as soon as I began telling individuals about my problem, I rapidly began getting work. From my mum’s previous colleagues in Munich, via new associates on the coworking house I used to be working from, and thru random individuals I met who preferred my story.

After a couple of months, I moved to Koh Phangan, the Thai island identified for its full moon events. I used to be lured there by the promise of a “digital nomad internship” which turned out to be mainly a rip-off. Nonetheless, I made the most effective of it and loved residing on a tropical island for five months.

 

 

However not like Chiang Mai, Koh Phangan didn’t have a digital nomad neighborhood on the time.

I felt fairly remoted and lonely and craved a neighborhood of girlfriends like I had at residence and in addition whereas I used to be backpacking. I used to be additionally sick and uninterested in the poisonous masculinity displayed by all of the bromads present in most combined digital nomad communities.

After being referred to as “hysterical” for asking a easy query (in a paid neighborhood btw) one too many occasions I had sufficient and determined to start out my very own little on-line household.

So I took to Fb and began a brand new group that I very creatively (NOT!) referred to as Digital Nomad Women. I invited the ladies I had already met alongside the best way, all my backpacking associates and in addition a few of my associates from residence.

 

And the remaining is historical past

Effectively, no less than for me it’s. Inside a couple of months, we reached 1000 members, inside a yr 5000, then a couple of months later 10,000.

Now, 7 years later, we have now 34k members on Fb, I run a small however thriving paid membership neighborhood referred to as The Lab and I ship a private essay in my weekly e-newsletter each Friday to over 9000 ladies world wide (join it right here).

Most significantly, I’ve met numerous associates, enterprise besties, journey buddies, mentors and members over time.

To say Digital Nomad Women has modified my life can be an understatement. Generally it’s onerous to recollect what my life even was like earlier than I began this lovely neighborhood.

However that doesn’t imply it’s all sunshine and rainbows (similar to the digital nomad way of life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows). I’ve spent actually 1000’s of hours, shed numerous tears, spent sleepless nights and was able to burn all of it down no less than a dozen occasions.

However I additionally realized so, a lot about people, ladies, this way of life, enterprise, social media, life, myself and what I’m good (and dangerous) at.

To have fun our seventh anniversary, I needed to share 7 classes I realized from operating the world’s first feminine digital nomad neighborhood.

 

1. The catfight trope is a lie

Certainly one of my most hated tropes is the “catfight” trope.

It’s the age-old stereotype of girls preventing with one another – typically viciously – or sabotaging one another, often to win over a person. Ugh. ?

Typically this additionally performs out of their careers, reinforcing the concept there’s not sufficient house for multiple lady on the desk and that we’re all in fixed competitors with one another. Double ugh. ??

Rising up within the 80s and 90s, this trope was in every single place: in my beloved TV dramas Dallas and Dynasty, or the manufactured “feud” between Brittany and Christina, and naturally, on each single actuality TV present…

I’ve even encountered this trope in my very own enterprise after I had simply run a retreat for a gaggle of 14 wonderful ladies. Somebody (a person, unsurprisingly) responded alongside the traces of “Meow! I wager you get a whole lot of preventing with so many ladies”.

WTF? ?

 

It made me actually offended, and never solely as a result of it’s such a sexist cliché.

However my very own lived actuality of working completely with ladies for the previous 7 years couldn’t be extra completely different from this stale trope.

What I’ve witnessed since beginning the DNG neighborhood and The Lab is infinite collaboration, assist and true friendships being constructed. Correct allyship.

And that is in a enterprise setting that one might count on to be additional aggressive.

However each single day, I see ladies sharing their expertise, their time, and their sources with one another. Referring shoppers, giving suggestions, cheering one another on, and believing in one another (even after we don’t consider in ourselves).

That’s why I’m glad to see the catfight trope slowly disappearing from popular culture (RIP) and being changed with a greater illustration of girls supporting one another like in a few of my favorite exhibits and books. (Grace & Frankie, Ted Lasso, or Parks & Rec and many others)

 

2. There’s no solution to please everybody – it’s not private

A number of years in the past after I lived in Las Palmas, I bear in mind assembly my good friend for lunch at a restaurant in the future. She’d been working there that morning and after I arrived she regarded up from her display, eyes broad, mouth barely agape and stated to me “how the f*ck are you not shaking with rage proper now?”

I stated “huh? why ought to I be?” earlier than she confirmed me her display that was open on my Fb Group, and I realised she’d simply witnessed me just about de-escalate a heated dialogue (okay, a full-blown argument) between a couple of members. “Oh, that! That’s not an enormous deal.”

 

 

And it’s true, I don’t need to toot my very own horn, however over the past 7 years I’ve developed a kind of “diplomacy superpower”. I can’t fly or flip invisible, however I’m actually actually good at diffusing a tough scenario in an internet neighborhood – with out my blood coming to a direct boil.

Now, I’m not naturally an excellent chill particular person, extra of a sizzling head actually, and it took me a superb few years to develop this talent.

However one of many issues I needed to study early on is that irrespective of how onerous you attempt, there’s completely no solution to make everybody blissful.

It’s fully inevitable if you work with human beings. Particularly if it’s a big group of people. And particularly considering language limitations and cultural variations in a worldwide neighborhood.

Generally I get issues fallacious, typically I’ve a foul day, and typically they’ve a foul day.

Hassle will occur, and that’s okay. And there’s no level taking it personally.

 

3. Guidelines are good, values are higher

It may be inevitable for bother to come up infrequently, however that doesn’t imply you shouldn’t attempt to keep away from or mitigate it.

Fortunately I applied fairly strict guidelines in my neighborhood from the very starting.

At first, I apprehensive that folks may discover this foolish or pointless and I used to joke that that is my “German Jenny” alter-ego implementing all these guidelines.

 

 

However I realized that folks truly welcomed these guidelines as a result of they understood that I created them to verify they’ve a terrific expertise in our house.

Through the years, I tweaked and expanded the foundations, and as my model and my confidence grew, I realised that every one of our guidelines had been truly guided by my very own and DNG’s model values, proper from the start.

For instance, our very first group rule is that this: “Earlier than posting, ask your self the next: Does this submit profit anybody else than simply myself? If sure, please share it. If not, don’t submit it, we received’t approve it”

I might have as an alternative made a really detailed record of all of the completely different matters or posts that aren’t allowed (and I did do that previously) however as an alternative, I put belief in my neighborhood members to make this choice themselves.

It exhibits them that we all know they’re adults and may suppose for themselves whereas additionally reminding them {that a} neighborhood is about each giving and taking and that there isn’t at all times a cookie-cutter resolution or reply to every downside.

I’ve had a lot constructive suggestions on our pointers, each within the FB Group in addition to in The Lab.

And for such a big neighborhood, actual bother happens extremely hardly ever, regardless of our fairly small group of admins.

I consider this is because of our actually clear model values and that I’ve demonstrated these from day 1.

 

4. You by no means cease studying (aka “am I a foul feminist?”)

Once I began DNG I had sooo a lot enjoyable! It was all an enormous experiment, I used to be assembly new individuals, and studying a lot day-after-day.

However because the neighborhood grew, so did the strain of creating certain it was a pleasant and secure house for ladies from all around the world.

I felt completely unqualified for this – my foremost difficulty on the time was that I felt like I didn’t know sufficient about feminism. “Who am I to run a ladies’s group?” saved operating via my head.

I felt horrible when somebody complained in regards to the identify “digital nomad women” – ought to I’ve referred to as it ladies? It was too late to vary it as inside a couple of months a number of new female-focused teams popped up, however I additionally preferred our identify – did that make me a “dangerous feminist”?

Others didn’t like that my brand was pink. I felt I wanted to justify myself, pink was my favorite color, that’s why I picked it. Did that make me a “dangerous feminist”? (fast e book suggestion: I’ve since learn “Feminists don’t wear pink – and other lies” which was very useful).

Each time I bumped in opposition to a brand new factor I felt I used to be unqualified for I first panicked, after which did what I at all times do: I researched, I realized, I requested my members what they thought, and we had a dialog.

And so slowly however absolutely, because the neighborhood grew, so did I.

I realized extra about feminism, realized what intersectionality meant, and realized the language I wanted to have tough conversations.

The extra I realized, the extra my confidence grew too and I began utilizing my very own voice, to convey up issues that mattered to me, that I assumed had been lacking from the dialog within the digital nomad world. Matters like hustle tradition, poisonous productiveness, local weather change, the cult of celeb in on-line enterprise, and extra.

 

 

To today, I proceed to study from and with my neighborhood and I’m so grateful for this.

 

5. Ask don’t guess

One of many first issues I realized is that you don’t have any thought what your neighborhood wants or desires. what you want and you realize why you began the neighborhood, however that’s it.

Past that, the one solution to discover out what your neighborhood desires is to ask them – don’t guess.

I realized this very early on after I began internet hosting native DNG meetups in Chiang Mai.

They had been so enjoyable, we’d meet for tapas or wine or road meals, and I often snapped a pic and share it within the FB Group the subsequent day. Instantly I received feedback from women world wide “we need to host a meetup too! Is there one in Brazil/Spain/Bali?”

 

 

So I went forward and supplied my members a simple solution to host their very own DNG meetup. I set all of it up for them (it was completely free), created an occasion within the group after which they may hang around with members regionally. It was superior.

However after a couple of months of this, individuals began saying “Effectively Jenny, the meetups are enjoyable however they’re too brief. Are you able to organise an extended retreat form of meetup for us?”

Uhm. Okay. I had no thought organise or run a retreat however it sounded extremely enjoyable, so I went forward and did it. Simply over a yr after beginning DNG, I hosted 14 ladies from 10 nations for a weeklong retreat in Spain. It was epic.

 

 

With out asking and listening to my neighborhood I’d have by no means considered operating a retreat however it was probably the greatest issues I’ve ever completed.

“Ask, don’t guess” has turn into a mantra for me in all facets of life and my enterprise.

 

6. “Serving” vs “monetising” a neighborhood

I may need not identified that DNG would turn into my enterprise after I began it, however different individuals discovered fairly early that I used to be constructing one thing helpful.

I’ve obtained a tonne of (unsolicited) recommendation from strangers on the web about how I ought to “monetise my neighborhood” and that I’m “leaving cash on the desk”. Ugh, don’t even get me began. ?

 

 

I hate the phrase “monetising your neighborhood” as a result of it fully misses the purpose. A neighborhood isn’t a heat viewers, patiently ready to be offered to. They’re actual individuals, not numbers.

Sadly, “neighborhood” has turn into a complete buzzword and other people use it interchangeably with “viewers”. However the two are usually not the identical in any respect.

Right here’s how neighborhood knowledgeable Stephanie Baiocchi explains the distinction:

“An viewers is a gaggle of people that devour your content material, impartial of each other. […] they might or could not have a relationship with one another.”

“A neighborhood goes past merely the group or variety of individuals experiencing your model on their very own. It brings them collectively in a single place for a shared expertise.

It takes the one-way nature of speaking to your viewers and turns it right into a dynamic, multi-way dialog amongst individuals.

Your neighborhood members are conscious of each other and interact in dialog. They turn into a useful resource for one another and, as your neighborhood grows and matures, the members really feel a part of one thing greater than themselves.

A neighborhood is a residing, respiratory entity.“

The individuals who informed me to “monetise” DNG had been it solely via the lens of conversions. And curiously, none of them truly had something of worth to promote to my neighborhood, that at all times appeared like an afterthought to them.

Now, don’t get me fallacious, I’m not saying it’s morally dangerous to supply one thing to your neighborhood to purchase. (extra on that under).

But when a neighborhood is a “residing, respiratory entity” then I consider it must be handled with respect, kindness and honesty.

I solely began pondering of DNG as my potential future enterprise when my very own members requested me to create one thing for them (a retreat).

I didn’t have one thing to promote after which discovered individuals to promote it to. I introduced them collectively primarily based on shared values and experiences, after which they informed me what they wanted – so I created it for them.

That’s the distinction between “monetising your neighborhood” and “serving your neighborhood”

(btw, it might nonetheless take a superb few years earlier than I truly earned sufficient cash from DNG to dwell off. It was most undoubtedly not an in a single day success)

 

7. You need assistance & boundaries

I’ve identified from day one which it’s not attainable to run a neighborhood on my own.

I’ve had great admins, a few of which have helped run DNG for a few years. Together with my mum who’s my OG “unpaid intern” and who cares about DNG presumably much more than I do.

However understanding that you just need assistance and asking for assist isn’t the identical factor. And actually accepting assistance is one other factor altogether.

If I might change one factor it’s that I want I’d have requested for extra assist from the start. In all areas: admin, ethical assist, content material creation, partnerships – and in addition financially.

 

 

Even earlier than I began turning DNG right into a enterprise, I spent hours day-after-day on it, I actually cherished my neighborhood, assembly new individuals on a regular basis, chatting to ladies from all around the world.

It didn’t really feel like work in any respect. However that’s the issue.

I used to be nonetheless freelancing virtually full-time to earn cash after which began organising and operating retreats on high of all the things, which took an enormous quantity of power and time and left much less house for shopper work.

It was merely not sustainable.

However by the point I made a decision to concentrate on turning DNG right into a enterprise, I had set a priority of making content material, operating occasions, internet hosting workshops, sending job newsletters, and many others – all without cost.

And after some time, individuals take this without any consideration and it will get more durable to ask for assist, not solely financially.

I struggled with this for years and have notoriously undercharged for all the things I ever launched.

(like €400 for a weeklong retreat together with lodging, and even then, some individuals complained that it was an excessive amount of) ?

I requested for method too little cash, however as a result of I used to be charging cash in any respect, I didn’t really feel comfy anymore asking for voluntary assist both. So I received into this bizarre spiral of pondering I needed to do all of it myself.

I feel I might have saved myself a whole lot of heartache if I’d requested for assist, established boundaries and acknowledged the worth I used to be creating sooner.

 

 

I at all times say the entrepreneurial journey isn’t a solo journey. I want I had taken my very own medication and requested for (and accepted) assist earlier than practically burning out.

 

Wrap Up

This weblog submit ended up being for much longer than I anticipated and way more private too. It felt actually wholesome reflecting and sharing this with you, and I hope you discovered this useful or no less than attention-grabbing.

Final however undoubtedly not least, I need to thanks for being a part of the DNG Group – whether or not you’ve been round because the begin or simply stumbled upon this weblog in the present day. It means the world to me and I can’t wait to see what the subsequent 7 years will convey.

I hope to stumble upon you someplace on this planet, or on Zoom, quickly!

 

If you wish to assist…

 

In the event you’ve loved being a part of the DNG neighborhood, take pleasure in studying my e-newsletter or discovered worth in what I create right here, then I’d love your assist too.

Right here’s how:

Signal as much as my weekly e-newsletter – I write a private letter each Friday the place I share glimpses of what it’s actually prefer to run an internet enterprise as a globally-minded lady. I additionally share jobs from the neighborhood and a sprinkle of inspiration. And in case you like it, ahead it to a good friend!

If you wish to assist DNG financially, however are usually not or in a position to be a part of us in The Lab, then you possibly can become a cheerleader on Patreon. It’ll assist me maintain the neighborhood going robust for the subsequent 7 years.

And if you wish to join on a deeper stage with me and our members, then come be a part of us in The Lab, our digital neighborhood for experimentation, collaboration & accountability! We’re in enterprise, collectively.